Chinese dating: What’s the best approach?

You’ve joined a Chinese online dating site and are looking for a relationship. Here’s how to make it work for you.



Screen shot 2013-05-31 at 7.44.58 PMDo you feel a little lost in the crowd? You’re not alone. Online dating is becoming more and more popular, which means there are more sites than ever to please a crowded marketplace. Niche dating sites for people looking for specific types are becoming more common, such as Chinese online dating sites.


So what do you do to stand out from the thousands of others who have joined a Chinese online dating site? The prospects might seem daunting, but it’s easier than you think. It just requires a little effort and consideration, which you need in dating regardless.


Following are some things to consider when you begin online dating:


Know what kind of relationship you want. It’s important to know and communicate what you’re looking for. There are plenty of dating sites out there, which range from the standard sites like eHarmony’s Chinese Dating to the more casual Chinese FriendFinder, to “dating” sites which are more like marriage shopping sites for those wanting Asian brides. Be careful about which ones you choose to join, and let your dates know the type of relationship you are looking for so there won’t be any confusion.


Consider family. Although China covers a large geography with many different languages, cultures, and ethnicities, there are some commonalities that Chinese men and women share. In fact, that most Asian cultures share. One important part of Chinese culture is family. If family is important and influential to you, you will understand its importance to the Chinese men and women you will date. Most respect their elders and are influenced by their parents, who might put expectations on them, including who they should date. Make sure you’re comfortable with the fact that your date might not want to introduce you to her family until you are serious. And if she does, then respect her parents and their opinions even if they are different from yours.


Get to know her. Again, not all Chinese men and women share the same culture, language, or traditions. Some Chinese men and women are very progressive and shun traditional dating. Others might be very guarded and want relationships to progress slowly. Some are shy while others are outgoing. It’s important to not make assumptions when you start reaching out to people on your Chinese dating site. Get to know them individually – including their interests, career, personal style, and also any traditions they might share.


Understand Chinese culture. If your date speaks a Chinese language or is adherent to celebrations or likes a particular style of food, then it’s important to get to know her culture. Even if you are also Chinese but from another region. Sharing your backgrounds and cultural experiences with one another makes for a richer relationship in the future.


Be respectful. Don’t start your emails with “hey sexy” or other forms of a pick-up line (no matter who you’re dating). It’s important not to be flaky, which means arriving on time to your date and also emailing or texting her back in a timely manner. Treat her with respect and you’ll get more responses.


Happy dating!


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