Cultural Differences When Dating Chinese Women
What are the important cultural differences when dating Chinese Women? Some say that love transcends all. Although this may be the case, there is no better kryptonite for love than cultural differences. Every culture has their norms. The people who live within those societies understand those norms and act accordingly, especially while dating. Once two people cross cultures, the whole dating experience rapidly alters. Everything they thought they knew about relationships and being happy ends up being extremely difficult.
Crossing cultures while dating isn’t a dating deterrent. It is just another element that you need to be made aware of in order to have a successful relationship. Each culture is different and it is sometimes easier for certain cultures to get along rather than others. One of the most difficult barrier to cross for American men, is dating Chinese women. The cultures are radically different in most cases. Depending on the person and how they were raised, it can be quite challenging to date a Chinese woman.
We have gathered some tips to help ease this transition. The more you know about your partner’s culture, the more you can understand and process how they act or think. If you are just trying to get to know a Chinese woman with the intention of going out on a date, knowing these cultural differences will help you to evaluate where you are on the scale and whether you should proceed or not. You may feel overwhelmed with mixed signals, so let us help you to unlock a few of the mysteries of dating Chinese women.
The Chinese value their families greatly. They have a great connection to their entire family and work hard to stay together. There is also an element where children do everything they can to please their parents as being a disappointment is utter failure in the Chinese culture. In the West, we have lost touch with this family element, coming into an age where the individual trumps what the family thinks when it comes to dating.
Westerners generally have free will when it comes to dating whereas in the Chinese culture the most liberal case would be a Chinese woman receiving the go ahead from her family. In most other cases, Chinese women are not free to date and marry at will. In traditional Chinese families, the opinion of the parents generally wins the battle. If you want to be taken seriously and have her feel at ease, it is a must to please her parents and entire family which is not easy.
In order to please her family, there are some things that you can control and other factors are way out of your hands. Parents consider age as an element for choosing the right partner. Chinese parents prefer their daughters to date men who are generally older in order to protect their daughter financially. They presume that an older man will be stable economically as well as being mature. If you are the same age (or younger), you must prove that you can offer their daughter the comforts of life, have a stable lifestyle and will be there to protect her under any circumstances.
Along with demonstrating that you are a mature individual, it is also important that you show them that you are just as civilized as any Chinese man if you are of a different race. It may seem passé to think that anyone would have a problem with interracial dating/marriage, but you would be surprised. It is also extremely difficult for people of older generations to understand interracial dating because of how drastically the social norms for their society have changed since they were on the “dating scene”. If being in an interracial relationship sours the relationship between you and her parents, it is up to you to transcend those barriers with all of the perseverance and might that you have. It is difficult for parents to trust that this relationship will last. Although it is deemed to be racist, in their minds they are trying to look out for their daughter’s best interest. Show her parents that you are in her heart’s best interest and that you are there for the long term, not just a fling.
But besides the family structure, basically marrying the family, not just the person, there are also a lot of small cultural differences that may end up being big later on. Communication in any cultural is huge. Without communication, there isn’t a relationship. That is universal. When you are dealing with cross cultural dating, it is important to remember where your partner comes from. He or she may not speak the language perfectly, and even if they have quite a good grasp and are fluent, with an excellent vocabulary, it still does not mean that they know and understand every nuance. There are plenty of times where there is miscommunication because you automatically begin dating within your own culture, without remembering that you are dating someone from another.
Try to revel in the accomplishment of this person rather than scrutinizing them for misspeaking. Plus, if they are fluent in your language and you can barely order off of a menu, you should entirely reconsider the effort they have put in to understand you and your culture. Communication takes a lot more effort in cross cultural dating and you have to be dedicated to understanding this and being patient with the process. Certain subjects and themes just don’t cross cultures and your partner should not be held accountable for this.
Respecting your partner’s culture is huge. Understanding the dynamics of the Chinese social structure helps greatly when dating. You also have to observe a lot. Trying to date a Chinese woman is not universal. Chinese women born in the United States are different from Chinese women born in China. Also, a woman of a higher social status is easier to adopt social differences more than one from a lower income area. The best wayt o understand these differences is by going out and experimenting with them.
Some Chinese women just aren’t interested in interracial dating and you have to understand and respect that decision, regardless of how you feel. Other women might be hesitant. They don’t want to be seen as a bad girl in their society or like a gold digger. Some women are willing to date interracially but may become scared or ashamed if her family does not approve of the relationship. To say the least, there is a lot of pressure coming from both sides.
Above all, you have to respect the relationship that you are in and the culture where your partner comes from. It may be challenging to go on that first date, but as soon as you win her heart over with respect then you will be able to show her and her family the future that you can offer her.
